It's Over

I feel like I've been punched in the stomachs an it's taken a few days to be able to say it, but, barring a miracle, my dream is dead.

After lots of tests the official, opinion is.....I have less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant using my own eggs. An egg donor is not an option unless I win the lottery, and I don't know anyone with any spare embryos in storage, and it seems that all the embryo adoption places want couples who have tons of money in the bank, though the actual process is less expensive than IVF.

so that's it...I am heartbrokenly done. I don't know what to do or how to go on.

Thinking of my dear cyber sister Tammy today who lost her beloved dog Eddie last night. I know that pain and emptiness, and hope that she and Mark are doing ok.

It's been a very long while, but there is new hope

First an update...

The Sadie situation turned out to be bittersweet..mostly sweet.

Turns out Roxy is not vicious and unpredictable..she is a cancer detector!

Sadie had cancer eating away at her foot...something I may not have known until too late since it was a back foot that she limps on anyway due to arthritic, dysplastic, hips, had it not been for the attack. Though I do wish Roxy had found a less violent way to tell me. Saie had surgery and, despite being minus a toe, she is fine and peace is restored. As SOON as the cancer was removed Roxy went back to throwing herself at Queen Sadie's feet. And has become quite a good little agility dog too. We compete for the first time next month.

In other news...there is real hope for my baby dream to come true...well at least hope. I will be able to do...drumroll...a round of IVF, two if I can find a shared risk program I qualify for. It will probably be happening Oct/Nov ish. I am excited and scared out of my mind....this is it, my one last shot. Wish me luck.