this isn't going to be long, because I'm still trying to process and get my head around things. The other shoe has dropped. And it was basically what I'd expected. Damn I hate being right.
K is now living in 2 places, "part time" here and her mom's. She told me "It's not you, I'm just not happy here and I don't know why." Plus she's decided that she's still in love with her mega loser ex who she's been divorced from for 17 years, and needs to know if there's anything there. I told her if she's feeling that strongly then she needs to find out and to just be sure it's the person he is today and not what once was that she loves.
I'm trying to be supportive and all, because for some reason I just love her unconditionally. Not as the "married" partners we were for 6 years, but just as a person. Why I love her after all the heartache and misery she's put me through in the last year and a half, i haven't a clue. I guess I'm just a fool.
2 comments:
Sweetie, I'm sorry that it's come to this. I love you and I care about you and for that reason I'm going to spout some tough love, which you can take-it or leave-it as you wish with my blessing and my full complete and total support no matter what you do.
Don't let her be half time yours. All yours or not yours. She chooses, you stick with it not less than three solid months with no moment of weakness.
Then renegotiate.
You can't bargain when you have nothing to lose.
You can't win when you've already admitted defeat.
You are too good for this. You don't deserve this. You don't have to live like this.
Love.... bah. Unconditional love.... double bah!!! You don't love anyone unconditionally, not even children. Because love comes with conditions, or it should, it must, if it's to be maintained. No one respects (or loves) that upon which they wipe their shoes.
You need to let her go, find your own separate happiness, your "Separate Peace" (please read that if you haven't!, your own distinct YOU that she has forgotten and come to take for granted.
E ~~~ I've had too much wine tonight, freeing my fingers to type whatever they want. But I think I'm going to stand by this in the morning. (If not, I'll come back and revise.)
Please don't let her kick you one more time. No more.
Love yourself like we (I) (those who know you, those who GET you) do.
Please.
*big hugs and squeezes*
*and a small kick in the shin to get your attention*
Listen to me. You're better than this. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Love you.
L
Wow sweetie. I'm so very sorry. I wish things were better for you. I'm always here for you no matter what. ((HUGS))
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