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I have pneumonia again. The doc said it's most likely from stress and overdoing it, instead of staying down long enough after I started recovering from the last time. I'm afraid to take any of the stuff they gave me, even though she said it shouldn't be a problem, just in case I get my BFP this week.

I'm also beginning to realize my dream of having us all back as a family might not be shared. Maybe I just need to face up to the fact that my status isn't having a DP who doesn't live with me right now, but that if I'm lucky enough to have a child I'll be doing it alone.

I just think if she cared she'd make more of an effort to keep her word, or at least call and apologize for not keeping it. If it happened only occasionally it would be different, but it happens almost everytime she says she'll be there for me, and it seems to only happen when it comes to me, she always keeps her commitments to other people. She's admitted in the past that it's easier for her to let me down because she knows I love her unconditionally and I'll forgive her. But I would think that if she means it when she says "I love you" she'd at least make an effort or give me the respect of a phone call and an apology.

I'm feeling pretty low today. If you read all of this you deserve a cookie. Unfortunately you'll have to visit T's blog for one, cause I'm to tired to bake.